Looking after parents and carers and understanding what to do when difficult situations escalate, and you are under threat.
Sometimes it can be difficult to manage situations with parents and carers and all too often leaders find themselves in the firing line with parents who are very upset or angry.
It can be very hard to deal with, and we hear from a lot of you who tell us how much it affects you, and ask us what you can do in that situation.
We are all very aware that parents and carers are under increasing family and financial pressures at the moment, especially since Covid, and so incidents of aggression from parents and carers have increased in recent years. Sadly, all too often we are the ones who get the brunt of all that stress!
So what can we do?
Obviously, the first and most important thing to do, is to prevent aggressive situations and outbursts from happening in the first place! Being there for parents, being visible on the gate, regular communication with them and knowing what they need and when, will all help to prevent these events from happening.
However, sometimes, you may find yourself in the center of a situation that has escalated.
We’ve put together some advice from ourselves, and our community, about what to do in order to protect yourself in that situation.
Here are some possible courses of action, but please prioritise your safety and consult your local authorities, and/ or safeguarding team for the best approach in your situation:
- Don't let this consume you. Prioritise self-care, healthy boundaries, and activities that bring you joy.
- Keep a detailed record including dates, times, the nature of the situation, and any context. Document any effect this is having on your well-being.
- Discuss the situation with your CoG. They can provide support, guidance, and may help you assess the severity.
- Send a whole-school reminder about your parent conduct policy. Emphasise that threats/aggressive behaviour towards you or other staff are taken seriously and may be reported to authorities. A carefully worded message might deter further misconduct.
- If you feel safe doing so, consider a kind but direct message
- "Have I done something to offend you? I'm concerned about some comments attributed to you." This might open a dialogue or deter further escalation, but proceed with extreme caution.
- Talk to trusted colleagues about it so that you are not alone when coping with the stress of the situation.
- If you are in immediate danger, call the emergency services.